Yessss!

I rock.

I rock like Guns n Roses on a stadium tour back in the day.

I feel like death warmed up, still drank two glasses of wine and then completed my Tabata Abs for the day.  Oh yes.  And now me and my red, I’ve been scraped by tissues too much already nose are gonna get ourselves looking all hot and head out on the town to say goodbye to my bestest mate.  That is dedication.

Feel free to name something after me.

Happy Friday.

Natalie

Ab Attack Day One

So yesterday was officially day one of TABATA AB ATTACK

And in true sod’s law fashion I woke up with a blocked ear, sore throat and general feeling of rottenness.  C’est la vie folks, the show must go on……However, by the time I got in from work with no Crossfit, no nothing but a lot of coughing and moaning, the only thing I wanted to do was shove on my jammies and sleep.  Which I did but hey, at least I’m not lying to you about it!  Today I have also done nothing and was going to attempt it but after climbing the gazillion stairs to my house and finding it hard to breath I thought I’d just get back into bed (where I currently am no less).

So yes, I will count yesterday and today in my skive days…..oh dear, not an ideal start.

Now, it wasn’t originally my intention to share the tabatas on the blog but my fellow blogger Melissa from Be Silly Be Strong commented the other day to ask if I would be posting the ab workouts because she would join me – everyone likes a bit of company – so here you have what I will be doing tomorrow on the ab front and if you wanna join in feel free….I’m also posting what I’ll be doing on Saturday so you can even get it done before me if you want to (show off).

DISCLAIMER: I am clearly NOT a fitness professional therefore tend to make up the names of the exercises….if you don’t know what it is even after my fantastic explanations leave me a comment or hell, just make it up!  Whatever happens, you do it at your own risk!!!

Also…can I just say that a ‘Six Pack’ in Spanish is  ‘Bar of Chocolate’  mixed messages people…such mixed messages….

Set3 – 40’ on, 20’ off x4

SWISS BALL ROLL OUT

KETTLE BELL FIGURE OF 8

SIDE PLANK LEG OUT

REVERSE CRUNCHES

 

SB roll out – plank position with your shins on the swiss ball then roll your legs into your chest and back out.

KB Figure of 8 – Take your kettle bell in one hand and, with your knees slightly bent, pass the kettle bell around your legs in a figure of eight motion switching hands in the centre.

Side Plank leg out – go into a side plank, on your forearm or hand and then slowly move your top leg out to 90 degrees and back to the starting position.  2x right leg, 2x left leg

Reverse Crunches – exactly what it says on the tin – instead of lifting your upper body to your legs you are going to bring your legs to your upper body.

 

IF YOU DON’T HAVE A SB OR KB….

Replace the SB roll out with a normal plank and alternately bring your knee into your chest.

KBF8 – you can use any normal hand weight you have or if all else fails a bottle of water!

 

SATURDAY –

Set 2 – 20’ on, 10’ off x8

SUPERMAN PLANK (hold 5 secs)

RUSSIAN TWISTS

BALL ROLL OUT

KNEES NINETY, TWIST SIDE2SIDE

 

S.Plank – is a normal plank but alternately lifting your opposite arm and leg straight out.  Hold for five secs everytime.

Russian Twists – twisting around while drinking vodka is good for my abs???  No.  Sit on the floor, lean back slightly (keeping abs engaged of course), you can choose to lift your feet up off the floor or leave them if it is too hard, then you want to twist your torso around so you are looking to one side and then around to the other.  Hold weights in your hands if you want to make it harder.  Keep the rest of your body still.  Leave your a*se on the floor….twist from the waist

SBRO – see above.

Knees 90 – lie on your back.  Bring your knees up to table position (90 degrees).  Lift your upper body up off the ground with your arms by your sides and now without changing the height of your torso or moving your lower body, reach towards your right side, back to centre and now your left.  What a terrible explanation but it’s as good as it’s going to get I’m afraid.

Now you can do the REAL Russian Twist…

I however, am off to die quietly……thank god tomorrow is Friday.

Natalie

Well Hidden Abs of Steel

I am copying some of the bloggers I follow.  It’s not particularly imaginative but it is smart and it is clever because their ideas are GOOD so I don’t feel bad for being a wee copy cat:

I’m holding myself accountable on the blog.

Miaaaaaow.

Now, you will all know that I am a massive fan of my Crossfit classes and aside from dancing hip hop it is my number one sporting activity but recently I feel like I have plateau-ed.  I am always super hard on myself when it is something I really love and this is no exception but I do think the time has come to step it up a gear.  So, to this end I have decided that I am going to do some hard core work on my abs.  They’re not bad actually from all the machine pilates I used to do back in the day but they are still not great.  If I could shave a layer of fat off my tummy to show them off in all their glory they wouldn’t look like jelly but they would kind of be a two pack divided out over the whole area.  Know what I mean?  Are you forming a weird image in your head? You’re welcome.

Which brings me to the extra work I need to do.  Here is the problem:  I, like most of you other crazies out there, have almost no spare time so I need it to be completely doable and not just doable for a week and then I throw in the towel, stamp on it, use it to mop up spillages (of wine).  So I have designed seven different sets of four rounds of tabata abs.  I’ll decide on the day if I want to do 20’ on 10’ off or 40’ 20’ but either way in the week the goal is to complete the seven different sets.  I cannot back out because it is 16 minutes.  16 minutes is nothing in the grand scheme of things.  I spend more than 16 minutes per day imagining what it would be like to be married to Shemar Moore and hey, I can do that while planking.

So this is the challenge – from now until the 1st of January I am going to Tabata Ab everyday.  Yes, to ab is now a verb and yes, I do invent a lot of strange words and have my own grammar rules.  On the 1st of January (or maybe the day after when I can type without a searing pain shooting through my delicate wine and probably tequila fuelled brain) I am going to tell you exactly how many days I abbed and how many days I skived.  I will even be able to tell you how many minutes in total I abbed for.  Genius.  So please feel free to chase me up for this or if you know any super cool ab exercises let me know.

but more than anything – Wish me luck.

Natalie

 

Happy Saturday WOD!

This morning I was planning to sleep for eternity but alas, at 9am I opened my eyes to a cat standing on my chest and staring at me so hard it was like he was willing me awake (which he succeeded in doing incidentally).  It would have been hard not to wake up in any case since he was also purring like a freight train.

So, I thought oh well…might as well get up, drink coffee and eat delicious poached eggs on homemade flatbread in preparation for today’s Endurance WOD.

Did I happen to mention that I am actually coming to you from the grave today because the WOD killed me.  Yup, that’s right…today I am a ghost.  Here is the WOD reason why:

CORE:

6 rounds of 30 secs on, 15 off

V-ups

back extension

WOD:

500m row

400m run

40 squat

800m run

40 jumping lunges

800m run

40 squat

400m run

500m row

FYI – the 400m run from the box is down (and back up) a relatively steep hill.

It took me 25:30

Halfway through I felt like my legs were made of concrete but Websters never quit.  Ever.  Family rule – so I kept on going and am actually pretty darn pleased with myself.  I am not one to always quote my WOD results on the blog but I think in about 4 weeks I might redo it and see how I have improved.  Fingers crossed I can shave off at least a minute!  who knows.

Then I went for lunch and ate the most delicious things with a big glass of wine.

Not straight after obviously.  I waited at least an hour!

Natalie

How were your Saturdays?

Suck it up Webster

Finally it is Friday.  This week could not have gone any more slowly if it had been dragging its feet through drying tarmac.

I haven’t been too happy this week, not gonna lie.  I haven’t worked out since last Friday (party weekend plus sore shoulder) and I feel like a cross between a whale and a slug and I feel guilty.

I am a guilty whug.

AND my singing teacher was sick so no singing, which always lifts my spirits.

So now I am a songless guilty whug.

Dear oh dear.

However, today I have slapped out of it.  I have Crossfit tonight and it looks like a good one.  My kind of WOD:

5 rounds of:

Run 400m (which is down and up a steepish hill)

15 OH squat

10 back squat

5 back press

So as you know I hate squats…well, no…I don’t hate them, I actually love them but for some reason I suck at them….I just can’t physically get ass to grass and I don’t know why….?????  but for some even weirder reason, I find it much easier to get lower when I have weights (preferably back squat)I break parallel but I don’t get low like a ho in a 50 Cent video….this is something that really frustrates me (I would actually LOVE to be in 50 cent video).  I have those moments of ‘well, what is even the point, I try and try and I suck’  then I think well…..whingeing isn’t going to make you any better so get on with it…but it is hard when you feel like the special one in class any time they whip out a squat WOD (which is all the time!!!)  but then I look at my JLo ass in the mirror….ok, unfortunately it isn’t a JLo ass yet but it IS closer to it than before and I think….you’re obviously doing something right, keep the faith.  And while having a killer, sticky out ass would be nice I just want to KILL THE SQUATS and get stronger………..so any advice from anyone else who ever had the same problem as me would be gratefully received.

In the meantime, I will grab my workout gear, put on my game face and try harder.

Suck it up Webster, as we like to say in my house.

Natalie

Cat Thunder Dome part.2

Not to be confused with Thunder Cat Dome part.2.  That would just be a dome full of Thunder Cats –which would be a genius idea!

First off, it seems that we had a great deal of confusion about which cat was which.  Let’s look past the fact that one is a girl cat and one is a boy cat at this stage – I never claimed to be a vet people – because they are very similar.  So we were calling Willow Whiskers and Whiskers Willow and I am blaming it on the fact that I was traumatised by my physio sticking whopping great needles into my back as soon as I got in from work.

Now, you may have the following image in your head:

I climb the million stairs to my flat (out of breath and guard entirely down)and no sooner is the key in the keyhole but the door is swung open, an arm flies out and pulls me into the hall and Waaa POW…needle in your neck sucker….how do you like me now?

‘Not a great deal’ would have been the answer to that question, so I’m glad that is in fact NOT what happened.  He was kind enough to let me lie down and massaged my shoulders (also painful btw) before he stuck the giant needles into the centre of my muscle contractions whilst simultaneously squeezing the muscle around it.

Ouch.  Double ouch.

SO that is why I was not firing on all cat-recognising cylinders.

After the departure of my torturer, one of the cats (I now know was in fact Whiskers) came out and started moseeing around, sniffing and rubbing his tiny face on everything.  ‘GREAT’ , I thought.  They feel at home.  Then I realised I was a cat down.

Cue panic.

I looked everywhere.  ‘Can a cat fit through a hole the size of a 5 pence’ I wondered?

‘WHERE IS THE CAT!’

By this point I was sweating in about 10 degrees C and wondering if I would be able to get away with ‘what other cat?  You only brought me one’ when something under the TV caught my eye…yup….she was in the cupboard.  And that is where she spent all night and all morning.  That is where she ate her dinner and her brekkie and that is where she remains.

So all in all, I’m not sure how my mouse situation is going to goed up but hey….Welcome to Thunder Dome.

Natalie

 

I have become a short-term cat owner / mouse hunter.

Actually, I am not hunting anything – I am facilitating the hunting of a mouse by a tabby cat.  I kind of feel like one of those mean people in safari suits in the Jungle.  With a big, beige, lampshade helmet on my head.

Ooo, har, har, har..after this we’ll go to Asia to see what other havoc we can reek!

Long story short:

There is a mouse in my house.  I have borrowed my friends two cats.

Those of you who know me well will know that I have never really been a cat lady (although they do feature in my retirement plan of being a crazy old lady with dogs and cats who drinks gin from a jar and tells all her crazy stories to her neighbours).  I was always a dog lover, mainly because I had the coolest dog IN THE WORLD.  His name was Oscar and he was a Samoyed.

But last night I sat down on the sofa with a nice glass of wine ready to perv on Shemar Moore enjoy the clever writing of Criminal Minds when all of a sudden a giant creature ran across the middle of my living room floor.  I wasn’t far off having to change my pants, jus sayin’.  After several minutes of cowering on the couch praying for it not to be a huge spider (or spider at all) I worked up the bravery to tip toe gingerly over to where I had last seen it:

‘where did you last see the creature Miss Webster?’

‘By the wash basket creature police officer!’

Faint faint

I got there…gently tipped back the wash basket with one hand, while keeping my body as far away as possible and holding my wine in the other hand (I’d had a fright! It was now medicinal and totally justified wine on a Monday night) and……nothing.

So I sat back down and practically gave myself sideways whiplash over the next hour by frantically flicking my head from the tele to the wash basket and back.

And then it appeared.  Slightly smaller than I had managed to make it in my head during the whiplash session (as in…not human size after all) but it’s running up and down against the kitchen cabinets was creeping me out.  I then whatsapped everyone I knew, and a few people I didn’t, to tell them about the incident for absolutely no reason at all – Did I think they would travel an hour to come and look at it?  It was the stress.

So in the end I did what any sensible person would do.  I called the fire brigade.

NO. I did not really call the fire brigade.

I got into my bed and finished watching Shemar on my laptop and clapped frantically ever five minutes ‘as a warning’.  When I eventually bacame too tired to continue the clapping game I fell into a (surprisingly) mouse dream free sleep.

Who knows where it is now…in a deep dark corner of a cabinet, filing it’s nails and laughing to itself…

‘ha ha ha, I chewed out all the corners of the bags of flour and sugar and I even got that expensive quinoa….the dumb clapper is gonna be in for a shock’

BUT NOT FOR LONG.  That’s right sucker.  By pure coincidence my friend needed someone to look after her cats for two days and I needed them to *puffs out cheeks and dons best Italian accent* take care of my problem…….

May the cat and mouse game begin.  Literally.

I shall report back on round one of Cat Thunder Dome tomorrow.

Natalie

ps. I realise when I said ‘long story short’ I was lying.  Long story long more like it.

pps. I really hope they catch it when I’m at work.  I hate seeing animals in pain but i also hate them crapping and peeing in all my cupboards.

ppps. Do you think if I play Tina Turner songs while I’m out it will speed up the process?