And only your thong? OK, that’s a tad harsh…your super sexy, high cut, almost-thong pants to the gym. There, that’s much better.
Today’s blog will be interrupted for a short but totally justified (in my mind) rant.
Gym things that make me very angry (as much as people wearing sunglasses on the metro – inside people? Really?)
Girls with a full face of make-up. Are you in the gym to get a date? Cos any man who wants a girl that ‘worked hard enough’ to still look pretty at the end of her workout, isn’t a man worth having.
Did you come to the gym wearing normal workout leggings and t shirt but somehow got caught in a shredder on your way from the changing room to the actual gym? Watch where you’re going girlfriend. Next time you might get your extremely long and not-tied-back hair caught in there too and when you cry, cry,cry cos you now look like half-naked Sinead O’Connor all that make-up’s gonna be running down your face.
Gym things that please me (not as much as Shemar Moore though)
Cool, funky, brightly patterned workout clothes that are big enough that I don’t have to see your arse cheeks hanging out or worry that that mole on your chest is actually your nipple.
Ridiculously mis-matched, this-is-all-I-have-clean and who cares workout clothes.
Why I work Out
To get fitter. To get healthier. To get stronger. To feel great. To sweat out all the wine I drink. (oops, did I type that out loud)
I don’t go to the gym to….
Prance around like I’m in a fashion show or on a night out. Have men stare at me. Show off to everyone.
Ok, so the last point is maybe pointless because I don’t currently have abs of steel and an arse you could bounce a penny off and men do stare at me but that is mainly because, even with the slightest amount of exercise, my face goes the colour of an aubergine and I’m relatively certain people think I am on the verge of a heart attack. However……what is with all the photos of women in their teenie, tiny outfits, hair down, make-up on, standing with weights in their hands???????
It is RIDICULOUS. You are at the GYM people not out on a Friday night…if you work out in that outfit then stay away from me but if you just got back from the gym, wearing different coloured socks, a t-shirt you’ve had for years and you stopped at the supermarket on the way home even though you hadn’t showered or changed before you left then you are my kinda gal and I’ll work out with you any day. And when we’re done with the working out then we’ll put on teenie tiny outfits and hit the town. But not before.