Ho Ho Ho..Santa Santa, Xmas Xmas….I am feeling the Xmas joy today because I worked out that I have about 6.5 working days remaining until I jet off to the sun for Xmas. In that time however, I am being forced (entirely against my will of course) to attend on birthday dinner, one Xmas lunch, one Xmas ball, one birthday party, Xmas drinks and the work Xmas party. This may be the post with the most exes ever written and it isn’t even about boyfriends. Shocker.
Speaking of which, in true Christmas spirit I have decided to forgive my ex whatever-he-was for being a total assh*le and stop wishing him loss of a limb for making me miserable. You heard me Santa…..better start loading those ‘she’s been a very good girl this year’ presents up into the slay – you’re gonna have to do three trips because of my sheer generosity. Now, since I am going down the route of Xmas spirit, I should probably make a list of things that I can do between now and the day itself to become a better person. Whaaaaaat? Better than I already am? I know, I know. Almost impossible, it’s basically going to be a list of one.
1. Be more modest.
2. Stop going Christmas shopping on a Saturday afternoon then scowling at everyone and secretly wishing you had either a tazer or a cattle prod.
3. Give that Romanian lady you suspect is busking in English on the metro 50 cents.
4. Try to stop judging girls wearing open toed shoes with tights and resist the urge to scream ‘really? Open toed shoes in winter?’
5. Stop torturing my neighbours by singing ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ very loudly every day.
6. Drink more wine. (what? Good for my heart, live longer, make people happy)
That might be it for now. My head hurts thinking about all these kind and generous things I might do. I better go and clear out some space in my tiny house for all the presents I am now expecting.
Happy 10th of December!
What is Santa bringing you for Christmas?