I can’t believe it is the last day of 2013. I remember when I was wee and grown-ups always reminded me not to wish the time away because once you are older it flies by. Oh how I wish I had paid more attention to them but I was probably too busy running around like a maniac having fun – such is life.
So now we are at the end of another year and in true End of Year fashion many bloggers are writing lists – about their favourite moments in 2013, things they have learnt, plans and goals for 2014 and I thought…hey, why don’t I just plain old copy them? But do all the lists instead of just one because that will make me super popular???!! Everyone just looooooooves a copy cat. Then I thought, maybe I’ll save the nostalgia/ dreaming/ promise making for tomorrow and instead make a list of how I think the world will look in 2034 instead. So that in twenty years from now, when IPads are like the Walkmans of today, no one will look back at this post but if they did they would laugh at all the funny futuristic things I imagined – like when people watch Terminator nowadays:
‘Machines running the world…har har har’
So here we go – Natalie’s Stupid 2034 Prediction List:
1. People will have special chips fitted in their heads so they can communicate telepathically.
2. Because of ‘The Chip’ the spoken word will become rare and special schools will be set up by Tom Cruise to teach children to vocalise.
3. Some of those children will turn up years later talking about ‘Area 54’ , which some celebrities will vaguely remember as a cool place to dance when their Grandparents were young.
4. Sylvester Stallone’s Mother, Joan Rivers and Demi Moore will all still be alive and suspicions of their likelihood as robots semi- confirmed.
5. Die hard 24 ‘Yippee ki yay Motherf*cker -as soon as I’ve taken these pills your ass is mine’ will be released at cinemas ( which obviously won’t be actual cinemas anymore but giant images generated in 3d in the sky)
6. Calorie and fat free, full of anti-oxidant, no additives or preservatives red wine will flow freely from taps in all houses.
7. A magical pill will cure all ailments including tendinitis of the shoulder, a twisted hip and dodgy lower back (bit specific that one?)
8. I will have written ten books, four of which will have been made into movies in which I will have starred and also recorded a song for the soundtrack…….ok, that one should be on my future goal list not ridiculous-never-going-to-happen list, you are right.
9. Shemar Moore will finally have been cloned and every sensible gal will have one.
10. Kanye West’s Grandaughter ( Kan’tye West) will be president of the States and reality tv will be a mandatory subject in schools across the country.
And there you have it. Print it off, put it in a glass bottle and bury it in your back garden so that in twenty years your grandchildren can use their minds to suck it out of the earth and ask an older person nearby what the funny paper stuff is all about.
Happy 31st of December readers……May it be a good day for everyone!