‘No Boyfriend…That’s NOT Your Picture On My Phone’

Natalie’s metro musings for the day

So…..picture the scene…I am on the metro on my way home from work and, as I am almost Spanish now, I look over the shoulder of the man next to me to see what he is reading ( I was bored of the other man’s newspaper article – I had got to the end and he rudely hadn’t turned the page yet). I realise he is just on whatsapp (now owned by Facebook?!!!! Get lost Fb, you can’t have everything because you’ll just change it non stop) and his Whatsapp conversation is really dull – ok, the screen was too small and I couldn’t see it. Finally he closes his whatsapp and it returns to his home screen, bear with me this is where it gets more interesting, and on the screen there is a really hot woman. Or, more accurately, there was a killer naked female body lying on her side looking curvy as all hell. No head though. Fair enough?! We don’t need heads do we? I mean what do we use them for that would interest a man? Oh wait….that is a different web page. Moving on. So I am thinking ‘fair dos, the man has good taste in naked headless women’ (who doesn’t?), look down and think ‘oh, he’s wearing nice shoes’, realise it is my stop and get off. So does he. With his girlfriend. Who is definitely not the lady on his home screen and trust me, I don’t know this because she was also naked, it was just glaringly obvious. So my question to you dear readers is this…..do you think that’s a little messed up? If you were her would you be annoyed? I have to confess I felt slightly outraged for a minute and then I suddenly thought ‘even for the love of my life, my Shemar Moore photo wouldn’t be going anywhere’

Oops, sorry Shemar, I meant ‘even for my second best love of my life, my Shemar Moore photo wouldn’t be going anywhere’. But then that would be different, really different – Shemar would never be headless in my photo.


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