I Can Barely Sit Down…..

And tonight is spin class.  Man alive.

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Let me share my pain with you all dear readers.  Yesterday after Crossfit I made the mistake of telling my physio the truth: that my glute and thighs were killing me, that every time I squat (which does seem like a strange thing to say actually now I read it, hmmm – don´t squat? – get out)

squats

Anyway, yes…every time I squat I get a pain down my right glute into my leg.  So what did he do?  that´s right, he tortured me.  He dug his viscous little fingers and his elbows into my giant glute muscle and ignored my screams.  I believe he actually said ´suck it up´no joke.

But it´s ok…I feel much better today.  Oh no wait, I am in agony.  Some lady brushed her bag gently against me this morning and I had to resist the urge to punch her.  It hurts to the touch…..it hurts without the touch and in one hour I need to go to spin class……smallest, hardest, least comfy seats ever.  Seats that make you sure you will never be able to have children and to all my girls out there….seats that make you scared to pee after class……you feel my pain right?

Well, faced with this terrifying prospect I thought over my options:

1. Don´t go…..Not gonna lie, it is a good plan but then I remembered that my favourite Christmas dress is still an inch from doing up, it is five weeks til Christmas and I am going for wine and pizza with my friend tonight.

2. Look into adoption.

3. Dehydrate myself after class so I don´t need to pee til tomorrow…..something tells me this is not a good idea but I just can´t quite put my finger on it….

4. Don´t sit down at all during class –

AK

I´m sorry.  It just had to be done.

So these are my choices – What would you do?  Help a sister out with some suggestions because let´s face it – this isn´t the first time this has happened and I doubt it will be the last.

And on that cheerie thought……Happy Tuesday kids!

I hope your arse hurts way less than mine,

Natalie

 

 

 

Workout Of (maybe your last) Day

Man alive. Or dead actually, depending on how you want to look at it.

I haven’t been to Crossfit for just under two months and today I rock up and see all of my least favourite things on the board….pull-ups (uuuuuggghh) front squats ( cry cry cry) and so it goes on.

Now, I know that some of the people that read my blog (thanks btw) aren’t into CF and couldn’t care less about WODs or how messed up our hands are (and you wonder why we are so pleased with ourselves about it too) so I am sorry in advance but I HAVE to share with my fellow Crossfitters how awful (and yet really fun) today’s WOD was. So here it goes……this is what those b*stards made us do:

30 back squat
30 pull-ups
20 shoulder to overhead

30 front squat
30 pull-ups
20 shoulder to overhead

90 seconds burpee box jump
90 seconds double unders

600m run
40 thrusters
20 chest to bar

At this point I’d like you to imagine a monkey hanging from a branch, now imagine it is an old age pensioner monkey that has had two shoulder replacements and you are pretty much starting to understand what I look like attempting to do pull-ups.

Disclaimer: I do not have a tail and/ or am I furry. Just to be clear.

So that was that. I staggered home and am now about to eat my amazing dinner I just made.

Happy Monday kids!

Ps. I have only met my neighbour once…it is inappropriate to go round and ask him to help me get dressed in the morning when I can’t move my arms right? I thought so….just checking. I’ll be working in my PJs tomorrow then.

Holy Hell, my legs hurt

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Yup…..that’s how I feel except I am not even attempting to stand. Two days of Crossfit then a 5km run and dancing back to back has reminded me that I am in fact, not superhuman. Bummer cos I was really looking forward to moving things with my mind – like my Fisio from his house to mine.

It hurts my thighs to type

Everything hurts. It hurts my glutes just sitting still.  If my body was ever a temple it is now a crumbling mess of rubble.

CROSSFIT

God, I love Crossfit.  I didn’t love it a minute ago when I needed to get up for more water but as a general rule, I love it.

It all started with my obsession with Pinterest (but that’s a story for another day).  I saw all these kick ass girls that looked crazy fit and healthy…..yup, not skinny malinkees with pokey out ribs and shoulder blades that could take an eye out but fit as all hell girls.  Now don’t get me wrong, your average Joe Blogs/Jane Blogs isn’t going to look like a professional Crossfitter but they inspired me to try a new form of exercise and get some muscles (and to be honest, I just really want a JLo ass)…..Why can’t women have some muscles????? Everyone has an ideal of some body type they’d love to have or some celebrity they’d like to look like but I’ve decided I just want to kick some ass, and maybe do it in reallly tight JLo ar*e hugging jeans…..oh how I digress……..SO, I started Crossfit and now I cannot stop.  I never, ever want to stop.

Which brings me to this very moment where my entire lower body has gone on strike but thank goodness my wine drinking arm is working just fine.  I can’t drink wine after I work out?  Ehhhhmmmm…..it’s made of fruit.  Some people.

So now that I have completed my exercise for the day all that remains for me to do this evening is pack – no I haven’t packed yet and will probably do what I always do, which incidentally might be a gene thing (no, i’m not talking about a*ses again) because my sister does the exact same…..on the night before a holiday we relax, drink some wine, maybe some more wine, pack, wake up hungover, run to the airport, arrive to our destination, open our cases and Ta Da…Surprise!!!!!!  What do we have in here then…a bikini? two pairs of socks and a kaftan?that will come in really useful on a ski slope………

I know, I know….step away from the wine and pack first. BUT. I. CAN’T.  genes.

I look forward to posting with my Sis this weekend!

Ciao for now,

Natalie